Welcome to the November Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids in the Kitchen

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how kids get involved in cooking and feeding. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

Toddlers seem to move between screamingly hungry and completely disinterested in food. And then there are the unsavory table behaviors. You cannot force another being to eat (or eat politely!), but here are some creative solutions to preserve your sanity and eek a tiny bit more food into their tummies while respecting your tot’s autonomy.  These solutions come from my 15 years working with toddlers, and now my own.

1) Au Revoir, High-chair!  If your tot has any continual aversions to being put in a high-chair, or undesirable behaviors once he is sitting, he may be ready for a booster seat with a strap. That way, he is closer to and more a part of the family table.

2) Lap Lunching. After a few bites in the high chair or booster, your tot may be ready to be un-strapped and showing you this by wiggling, screaming or throwing food! You can often keep her close and eating by being willing to allow some time sharing your plate on your lap. This is a great chance to show good manners and allows for closeness! So everyone can eat peacefully for a few minutes, play musical laps! Part of my “quality time” with my daughter is allowing her to share my lunch on my lap.

3) On Her Terms. Just because your tot doesn’t want to sit anymore, does not mean he isn’t still hungry for food! If you allow him to walk/run/play peacefully around the house while you gobble your own meal, you can then go to him and help him finish his meal while he is walking around. (My rule is five minutes and three bites in the booster and then freedom, or lap baby).

4) Thoughtful Timing. Don’t put your tot in the high chair when you are cooking or setting table if you expect her to also sit there during dinner. That is too much time strapped in. While you prepare meals, your tot can play in a safe kitchen drawer, eat a snack, “organize” your low cupboards or sweep the kitchen floor!

5) Kitchen Helper. Kids are more inclined to eat what they have helped make. Lift up to see the meal cook, allow help in stirring, help put spread on bread, drop bread into toaster slot, pour, shake, wash.  Your tot might be just “screaming” for this sort of attention, togetherness and purpose. They can also play with their own drawer of safe cups and kitchen utensils while you cook.

6) Preventative Snacking. Low blood sugar can happen to anyone. It feels so crappy that we can become unable to feed ourselves or choose our food. Tots actually need to eat every two hours. Protein-rich foods like hummus and healthy sugars like fruits are ideal. While you are preparing dinner, your tot might desperately need a small snack to carry around or sit with on the kitchen floor so as to prevent a low-blood-sugar meltdown at the table. My daughter always gets a pre-breakfast handful of cereal, too.

7.) Picnic. In much the same way that we use distraction and re-direction for behavior challenges with tots, the same can work with eating. Picnic brunches and lunches often get the tummies more full because of the fun and change of pace of a walk or a trip to the park. Raining? (why, always here in Seattle!) Try a picnic in the playroom, picnic on the potty, picnic on the covered front porch in the rocking chair, at a friend’s house, shopping mall…picnic dinner in the living- room?

8.) Positive Peer Pressure. Want to introduce a healthy new food? Go to the house of a little friend who eats it! Put the food on display. See if curiosity and peer pressure will do the job. In general, I have noticed that toddlers eat more food when another little mouth is there to snatch it up 😉

9.) Allow Mess. Make the eating space spill and mess friendly so that eating time isn’t about “No”, power struggles and spill-anxiety. I wouldn’t want to eat with someone lording over me waiting for me to do it wrong. It definitely helps to have a dog 😉 Some tots want badly to eat like an adult. Let him try the big fork and spoon, let him play with chopsticks. Teach him how to sip soup. Allow him to try to feel everything to himself on his own. Tots need to experiment and they need control of their own eating.

10.)Lead by Example. Don’t forget you set tone for food. Evaluate your eating habits. Let your child hear you say “yum” and “mmm” as you are eating. We also say “so good!” If you have food aversions, sensitivities, allergies or dislikes, try to avoid negative language around those foods and eating times. Conversely if you wish your child not to beg for sweets, do not eat them in front of her. Let your child see you eat joyously and explore new foods together while talking about it.

*The idea for this post came from my latest neighborhood workshop: Beginning Gentle Discipline for Toddlers. As a Parent Coach and accepting phone clients from all over the U.S. Contact me at moorea malatt hicks @ gmail dot com

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Baking & letting go — Cooking with kids can be a mess. Nadia at Red White & GREEN Mom is learning to relax, be patient, and have fun with the process.
• Family feeding in Child of Mine — Lauren at Hobo Mama reviews Ellyn Satter’s suggestions for appropriate feeding and points out where her family has problems following through.
• Children with Knives! (And other Kitchen Tools) — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy teaches her children how to safely use knives.
• “Mommy, Can I Help?” — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment writes about how she lets her kiddos help out with cooking, despite her {sometimes} lack of patience!
• Solids the Second Time Around — Sheryl at Little Snowflakes recounts her experiences introducing solids to her second child.
• The Adventure of Toddler Tastebuds — The Accidental Natural Mama shares a few things that helped her daughter develop an adventurous palate.
• A Tradition of Love — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy looks forward to sharing the kitchen traditions passed on from her mom and has already found several ways to involve baby in the kitchen.
• The Very Best Classroom — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts reveals how her kitchen is more than a place to make food – it’s a classroom!
• Raising Little Chefs — Chef Mike guest posts on Natural Parents Network about how he went from a guy who couldn’t cook to a chef who wanted to teach his boys to know how the food we love is made.
• In the Kitchen with my kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares a delicious soup recipe that her kids love.
• Papa, the Pancake Artist — Papa’s making an incredible breakfast over at Our Mindful Life.
• Kids won’t eat salad? Try this one! — Tat at Mum in Search is sharing her children’s favourite salad recipe.
• Recipe For a Great Relationship — Cooking with kids is about feeding hearts as well as bellies, writes Hannah at Wild Parenting.
• The Ritual of Mealtimes — Syenna at Gently Parenting Twins writes about the significance of mealtimes in her family’s daily rhythm.
• Kid, Meet Food. Food, Kid. — Alburnet at What’s Next? panicks about passing on her food “issues” to her offspring.
• Growing Up in the Kitchen — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life shares how her son is growing up in the kitchen.
• Harvesting Corn and History — From Kenna at School Garden Year: The kids in the school garden harvest their corn and learn how much history grows in their food.
• My Guiding Principles for Teaching my Child about Food — Tree at Mom Grooves uses these guiding principles to give her daughter a love of good food and an understanding of nutrition as well as to empower her to make the best choices for her body.
• Kitchen Control — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro writes about her struggles to relinquish control in the kitchen to her children.
• Food — Emma at Your Fonder Heart lets her seven month old teach her how to feed a baby.
• Kitchen Fun? — Adrienne at Mommying My Way questions how much fun she can have in a non-functional kitchen, while trying to remain positive about the blessings of cooking for her family.
• Kitchen Adventures — Erica at ChildOrganics shares fun ways to connect with your kids in the kitchen.
• Kids in the Kitchen: Finding the Right Tools — Melissa at Vibrant Wanderings shares some of her favorite child-sized kitchen gadgets and where to find them.
• The Kitchen Classroom — Laura at Authentic Parenting knows that everything your kids want to learn is at the end of the ladle.
• Kids in the Kitchen — Luschka from Diary of a First Child talks about the role of the kitchen in family communication and shares fun kitchen activities for the under two.
• Our Kitchen is an Unschooling Classroom. — Terri at Child of the Nature Isle explores the many ways her kitchen has become a rich environment for learning.
• Montessori-Inspired Food Preparation for Preschoolers — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares lots of resources for using Montessori food preparation activities for young children in the kitchen.
• My Little Healthy Eater — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares her research on what is the best first food for babies, and includes a healthy and yummy breakfast recipe.
• Two Boys and Papa in the Kitchen: Recipe for Disaster? — MudpieMama shares all about her fears, joys and discoveries when the boys and handsome hubby took over the kitchen.
• Food choices, Food treats — Henrietta at Angel Wings and Herb Tea shares her family’s relationship with food.
• learning to eat — Catherine at learner mummy reflects on little M’s first adventures with food.
• The Night My 7-Year-Old Made Dinner — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares how her 7-year-old daughter surprised everyone by turning what started as an idea to play restaurant into pulling off making supper for her family.
• Cooking With a High-Needs Toddler — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how Montessori-inspired activities and a bit of acceptance have helped her overcome hurdles in cooking while caring for a “high-needs” child.
• Kids in the Kitchen – teaching healthy food choices — Brenna at Almost All The Truth shares her belief in the importance of getting kids into the kitchen using her favorite cookbook for kids to develop healthy food choices now and hopefully into the future.
• Make Milk, Not War — Tamara at Tea for Three remembers the daily food fights as she struggled to feed a picky eater.
• teaching baby birds about good food. — Sarah at Small Bird on Fire writes about the ways in which her family chooses to gently teach their son how to make wise food decisions.
• 5 Ways to Enhance Your Baby or Young Toddler’s Relationship with Food — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares simple ways to give your child a healthy beginning to her lifelong relationship with food.
• Toddler at the Table: 10 Creative Solutions — Moorea at Mamalady shares tips for preventing meal-time power struggles.
• How My Child Takes Responsibility During His Mealtime… — Jenny @ I’m a full-time mummy shares how she teaches and encourages her 32 months old son on adopting good manners and responsibilities during his mealtimes…
• Kids in the Kitchen: 6 Tips Plus a Recipe — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings shares six tips for overcoming some of the the difficulties of cooking with multiple young sous chefs, and a recipe they all can agree on!
• How BLW has made me a better parent — Zoe at Mummykins shares how baby-led weaning has changed her approach to parenting.
• My Budding Chef — Jenny at Chronicles of a Nursing Mom is no cook but is happy that her daughter has shown an inclination and manages to whip up yummy goodies for their family.
• Kids in the Kitchen: An Activity for Every Age — Gaby from Tmuffin describes how she keeps her kids busy in the kitchen, whether they are one week old or two years old.
• The Phantastically Mutlipurposed Phyllo — Ana at Pandamoly shares how Phyllo is used to create enticing dishes at home! Anything can be made into a Struedel!
• Kitchen Kids — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen shares her children’s most favorite recipe to make, experience and eat.
• Independence vs. Connection in the Kitchen: won’t you please get yourself your own snack already? — Lisa at Organic Baby Atlanta wishes her daughter would just go make a mess in the kitchen. But her daughter only wants to do it together.
• Grandma Rose’s Kitchen — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter reminisces about her childhood and dreams of filling her kitchen with people, love, noise, and messes.
• Healthy Food Choices for Kids — Jorje offers one way to encourage children to make their own healthy food choices at MommaJorje.com.
• Cooking food to thrive rather than survive — Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales is trying to foster a lifetime of good food habits by teaching her children about the importance of avoiding junk, cooking healthy meals, and learning about the whole food process.
• Evolution of a self-led eater — Sheila at A Gift Universe shares the story of how her son grew from nursing around the clock to eating everything in sight, without her having to push.
• 10 Ways Tiny Helps In The Kitchen — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama explores the ways in which her toddler actively participates in kitchen-related activities.
• The Complexity of Feeding a Child — Feeding children a healthy diet is no straight-forward task, but Lisa at My World Edenwild shares some general guidelines to help your child thrive.
• Lactation Cookies — That Mama Gretchen shares a fun recipe that will benefit both mamas and babies!
• 50 of the Best Books, Websites, & Resources to Inspire Kids in the Kitchen — Need inspiration to get your kids in the kitchen? Dionna at Code Name: Mama rounds up some of the best books and websites that can serve as a source for ideas, recipes, and cooking with littles fun.
• A 4-year-old’s smoothie recipe — Jen at Grow With Graces and her son set out to make a smoothie without the usual ingredients. She let him improvise. See how it turned out.
• Independent Food Preparation (My Toddler Can Do That?) — Megan at Montessori Moments shares simple ways for children to prepare their own healthy snacks.
• Follow Your Gut — Amy at Anktangle shares her philosophy about intuitive eating, and how she’s trying to foster her son’s trust in his own inner wisdom when he feels hungry.
• A TODDLER-STYLE LUNCH + RECIPE — Manic Mrs. Stone photographs how to have messy fun during lunchtime with a helpful toddler.